We're on the verge of a sexual revolution - more people than ever before are reading up on how their bodies work, educating themselves on sexuality and having open and honest conversations about sexual wellness. Our culture is shifting in such an empowering way yet you'd be surprised how many people I speak to about my study and my career who still have absolutely no clue sex therapy exists or what it looks like. I've even had folks ask if that means I watch couples have sex! Just in case that one needed clarification, the answer is no.
As a result, I figured it'd be useful to do a quick breakdown of the most common myths and misconceptions I hear around sex therapy. Here we go!
Myth: Sex therapy is only for serious issues.
Sex therapy provides a safe space for you to explore and understand yourself on a deeper level and no matter the stage you’re at. If a problem or concern is interfering with the relationship or sex life you want, that is reason enough. We exist in a society that tells us we’re simultaneously too much and not enough, so give yourself permission to prioritise and invest your pleasure.
Myth: You have to be in a relationship to seek sex therapy.
Sex doesn’t always involve other people, so your therapy doesn’t have to either. This is a deeply personal experience that a partner doesn’t need to exist or be present for. Individual therapy is a great space to unpack your own limiting beliefs or concerns around sex.
Myth: Going to therapy will cure you.
You’re not a problem to be fixed and you never have been, Unfortunately, there is no magic fix or cure all, but therapy aims to give you the tools you need to thrive and that can take many forms including education, encouragement, curiosity, kindness, boundaries, confrontation and more.
Myth: You’re the only person/relationship experiencing this issue.
Stigma and taboo makes it difficult to have meaningful and productive conversations about sexual health and wellness. We learn to feel shame around our bodies not working how they ‘should’ and as a result of our collectively poor sex education, we’re also not taught the skills or the vocabulary to work through it. In reality, research suggests around 43% of women and 31% of men experience some kind of sexual dysfunction. While specific circumstances can differ, the core issues are much more common than you think. You’re not alone.
Myth: All we talk about is how to have sex.
Of course that’s an important part, but it’s not the only part. We also cover a range of topics including anxiety, self-esteem, social expectations, connection, communication, grief, trauma and more. Some of my favourite sessions are the ones that are the most unexpected and I get to learn about who my clients are outside of the sexual space. We can all figure out how to have sex, it’s usually the lessons or habits we learn along the way that get us stuck.
If you're interested in relationship and sex therapy or have any other questions about what it entails, feel free to let me know or to book in a session. I'd love to chat!