The Netflix series, Sex Education has been a gamechanger for diverse representations of the spectrum of sexuality. The new season alone covered topics like enthusiastic consent, the nuances of coming out and queer culture, the impacts of sexual trauma, postnatal depression, single parenthood, religion and sexuality, disability accessibility, asexuality, trans experiences and parents of gender and sexually diverse children and this is just in the span of eight episodes. It's clear that we're very starved for affirming and engaging content that not only educates but expands the way we see the world and ourselves.
If you're not already in sex-positive spaces and having open, non-judgemental conversations about sex and sexuality, it can be difficult to know where to start and how to differentiate between what's genuinely helpful from what's pseudo-science or misinformation wrapped in unchecked capitalism, yoni eggs and vulva-scented candles. The online world can also be intimidating as hell, leading you down various rabbit holes about:
People trying to sell you libido or orgasm pills
Religious or cultural judgements masked as information
Therapy-speak and everything being a 'trauma response'
Not necessarily in that order.
A big chunk of my sessions is normalising conversations about sex and education, and it's incredibly common for many clients to say things like"I've never spoken to anyone about this", "I don't know how to talk about it with my friends or even my partner", or "when we do talk about sex, it's always in passing and never delved into further". This understandably leaves many people feeling like they don't have the skills, knowledge or resources to engage meaningfully and fully in their sexual experiences. There's also very often this assumption that sex "should just come naturally" because that's what we've always seen in the media or in porn. No one struggles with erections, orgasms, trauma or consent. They just fuck for hours and live happily ever after, right?
In the spirit of real, non-judgemental and evidence-backed sex education, I've drafted together a list of general, educational resources that are often my go-to suggestions for clients who want to learn more about their bodies, sexualities and how they think and feel about sex. Happy learning x
Come As You Are
The Good Sex Project
Men, Sex & Pleasure
Sex & Psychology
Sex with Emily
Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski
Tell Me What You Want by Justin Lehmiller
So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex by Ian Kerner
The Erotic Mind by Jack Morin
Sex Education (duh)
Principles of Pleasure
Explicit educational porn: